the hell I live in

I'm 30 years old. I loved my last girlfriend. For awhile I thought she was going to stick around longer than she did... but with fucked up timing, backgrounds, motivation and a few cutting arguments,.. split.

So, here I am back amongst the late 20's/early 30's dating pool. It's a weird scene. Sometimes like being at a 4 am bar at bartime... sometimes free and good.

Anyways, if you're single and still can't get laid at 30, you should seriously consider rethinking your approach. None of us are getting younger, bobo,.. and for many, the first round picks have been taken. So, go younger or go for the damaged psychos your age.

So begins our tale: I met E before I met M. First mistake. E is a nice girl, definitely open to suggestion, but a bit insecure,.. M is half dutch/half german, was raised in Germany and moved here at 23 (6 years ago) and speaks 3 languages. M is also bad ass at foosball and more athletic than E. E is very into me, to the point of making a fool of herself on occasion. It's all very selfish on my part.

Anyways, there's this all night bike ride coming up. Recent e-mail exchange between E and I (E does get points for being a bit funny).

From: E
To: T
Subject: RE: The LATE Ride
Date: Tue, 1 Jun 2004 11:11:58 -0500

Should we sign up for the late ride now. Does it sell out really fast? I think M wants to do it too. Let me know.


From: T
Sent: Tuesday, June 01, 2004 10:35 AM
To: E
Subject: RE: The LATE Ride

sure, sign up now. it doesn't really sell out. you'll see, it's a couple thousand riders and they release them in 3 or 4 heats spaced out by 15 or 20 minutes. It's a lot of fun, but it's a pretty long ride. especially at the end after you get back to buck fountain for the breakfast/relax/massage,.. and then you have to ride all the way back to your place. I've found it best to cap the ride off with a group sleepover in any available waterbed.

T


From: E
To: T
Subject: RE: The LATE Ride
Date: Tue, 1 Jun 2004 11:29:14 -0500

And let me guess, you get to sleep between M and me. You have to pay for the baby oil.


From: T
Sent: Tuesday, June 01, 2004 12:09 PM
To: E
Subject: RE: The LATE Ride

good idea. I hadn't thought of that. I'll use my jewel osco card for xxxtra savings.

T


From : E
Sent : Tuesday, June 1, 2004 1:11 PM
To : T
Subject : RE: The LATE Ride

You know M was my New Years Eve date. We kissed at midnight. It was really hot. If your not a good baby oil boy we could just leave you out in the cold. You know all the slumber parties that girls had, they were really just lesbian love fests. The pillow fights in our nighties were really foreplay. It was training for later. All these years all of our girlfriends have really been our lesbian lovers. We really don't like boys at all. We're just trying to torture you. We are spawns of Satan.

single at 30 is bizarre