Rick's letter to Heather from Gay Paris

A couple of years ago, Rick found himself alone in Paris for a couple of days. He emailed Heather concerning his whereabouts, and she forwarded it to me...

Hi Heather,

Sorry I could not get in touch on Easter- I called on Monday but I got your mom's answering machine. I spent Easter inside Notre Dame for about 10 mins then it closed. Every hotel in Paris was booked- this is the thing that sucks about my trip.

So to compensate for the shortage of rooms I had to call this guy named deluie gilbert that I met in the Paris train station the day before I went to Madrid about a week ago. He told me if I needed a place to stay in Paris to call him. I knew something was fishy because he said that I would not have to pay anything.

So now, a week later I get to Paris and there are no hotel/hostels for the weekend. Who do I call? deluei. My stay was nice - he got fish and potatoes for Easter, made me breakfast in the morning, gave me metro tickets, bathed me.... yep, he barged in when I was showering in the bathroom and cleaned my naked body with a wash cloth. I told him he should stop because I was done showering, but he continued.

I wasn't too nervous because this guy is 49 years old and 5 feet tall so if he decided to take it any further I would knock the shit out of him. He stopped after a long minute. I told him that I was not like that and that he shouldn't do that, especially to Americans, because we are extremely homophobic.

So I continued to stay at his place for three nights. He insisted that I sleep in his bed with him because he would be more comfortable. The first night he told me this, I told him that I was going to sleep on the floor- he got all bent out of shape so after a small broken English argument I said fine- I wore all my clothes and got in to my sleep sack. That night he stayed on his side. The only other time he advanced was the morning I was supposedly taking a train out of Paris (today). At 7:00 am, I was waking up from a very light sleep and I got on my back. He reached over with his arm and leg, grabbed my you know what and was begging me. I jumped out of the bed and the usual bantering followed.

He just didn't seem to understand that the male sex did not arouse me. I tried explaining but it was useless. He made me breakfast immediately afterwards and saw me off to the train station. My train doesn't actually leave until tomorrow, I just thought I would situate my self closer to the station for an early train, get a nice uninterrupted shower and get away from the queer.

My hotel is 450 franks for tonight-a pretty hefty price but all of the hostels are full even after the weekend. I guess I still saved some money... if I spent every night in a hostel the price would be 468 franks that is 18 franks saved (about $2.50). So I guess spending the three nights at weirdo's house was a good, financially sound decision.

Well I am off to a different land and a different people tomorrow. I am learning that I should plan a little before I go to Europe next time. Well got to go this e-mail is costing me a fortune. And of course I love you very much. Oh yeah I might be coming home early.. I will let you know on the phone later today.