Most stolen!

I drive a 1995 Saturn. Today I found out that 1 in 200 were stolen in 2003, making it the most stolen car in the country.

The 1995 Saturn SL received the dubious honor of being the most stolen vehicle of 2003, according to the most recent stolen vehicle report from CCC Information Services Inc. The CCC report is based on the number of vehicles thefts in 2003 compared to the number of registered vehicles and found that one out of every 200 1995 Saturn SLs registered was stolen last year. The 1998 Acura Integra and the 1994 Saturn SL were second and third on the list.


I'm baffled by this.

Believe me when I say that the ladies do not like the Saturn. I've found it to be an accurate barometer of a girl's future worth. For instance: the barely hidden look of disappointment, disgust and settling for the night when I roll up more often than not results in a girl that'll be out of contact within 10 days.

However, no mention of the lame car usually means that the girl looks beyond material possessions and naturally figures that I'm hung like a rhino.

Example of a lady hating the Saturn:

I went out with J maybe five times. She was a fellow MU grad (who I didn't know back in the day), and was quite impressed with herself for landing a consultant's job (what's a consultant? Go print yourself up a business card at kinko's with your name on it. Congratulations, you're a consultant) with a firm that flew her to silicon valley every week. Because the consulting firm paid for all of her food and lodging on the road, her salary paid for her condo and growing savings account. Additionally, all of her frequent flier miles and hotel credit allowed her to take a few European vacations every year for free (wait a minute... How do I get that job?). Oh yeah, and she was really hot.

So anyways, I rolled up to pick up the spoiled bitch in my Saturn (with a sunroof and cruise control) and immediately she asks "this car doesn't have power locks? Don't all cars have power locks?" I reminded her that when she finally got around to buying a car she should make sure that they had power locks (I brought this up because she was quite embarrassed that she didn't own a car. For real.).

Oh well she sucked. She did take me to a Bulls game that night, and I did notice that our seats were $95 each. We never called each other again after that night.

My last girlfriend didn't even bother to hate the Saturn. Her Jeep got totaled by a hit and run accident involving Mexican gangbangers (no insurance), and she hopped a cab and then never claimed the Jeep from the pound for fear of arrest. She wasn't much of a problem solver.