31 is the new 25

yesterday I turned 31.

31 is different from 30 because when you turn 30 it's a milestone and you've turned the corner from twenty-something jagoff to adult.

when I turned 30 I went to Los Angeles and misbehaved for five days. oh young 30 year old!

for 31 I got drunk with some friends and played foosball and video games and chess and then went to a bar and smoked cigarettes and drank german beer. cutter gave me some super glue. I've been needing super glue.

it was a pretty good 31. now I just want to lose my virginity.

please, God! Pleeease?