uncle keith!!

uncle keith is a bastard. this is too funny:

Uncle Keith is chief topic in Edgerton

After 53-year-old Police Chief Keith underwent emergency heart bypass surgery 18 months ago, he considered hanging up his badge and retiring.

He has since changed his mind, emphatically so.

Uncle Keith, a 32-year veteran of the force, now says he plans to stay on the job for another 20 years. He won't leave, he said, while some in City Hall are trying to force him out-or back into a uniform and patrol car.

"I have no intention of retiring," said the 18-year chief, who favors turtlenecks and sports coats.

Uncle Keith is paid $61,000 a year.

Uncle Keith said a Virginia consulting firm's highly critical review of his department has only made him want to stay longer. The report was prepared at the request of the City Council, which is facing a loss of $81,000 in state funds this year. In addition, insurance costs have risen $60,000 this year, city officials said.

The report made 45 suggestions about how to improve the department, make it more efficient and trim its $1 million budget. It labeled Uncle Keith - whose language is often laced with obscenities- as "confrontational" and "intimidating."

Rob, the 21-year police veteran who wrote the report, defended his critique and said he spent more time with Uncle Keith -both in person and in follow-up calls-than he usually does with chiefs in reviews of police departments.

"The chief was not cut out of the loop," he said. "He had input, and he was part of the process."

Rob said Uncle Keith did not intimidate him.

"I've been around," said Rob, a former deputy chief in Fairfax County. "But he became less cooperative as time went on because he wasn't happy with some of the people I was talking to."

Nor did Uncle Keith like it when Rob asked him why he didn't collect or analyze crime data, the consultant said.

"His answer was that it was a waste of time," Rob said. "But those reports are exceedingly important because they show how you should use your personnel and resources."

Uncle Keith also bristled, Rob said, when he asked him if he was a sworn police officer and if he had taken firearms training and passed the appropriate tests this year.

The chief called Rob's comments "bull--" and dismissed his report as biased.

Uncle Keith, who said he is legally blind in his left eye, explained that he had taken the firearms training but had failed the test.

"Also, I didn't say I thought annual reports were a waste of time. I told him that's what I'd been told by City Hall," he said. "That guy got a lot of things wrong."

Rob denied that anyone in City Hall manipulated the report. And he called Uncle Keith's charge that he had slanted the report to garner future references "patently ridiculous."

Uncle Keith acknowledged that he can be "brutally honest" and said he has little time for subtleties and people who "talk in circles."

He joined the Police Department as a patrolman and worked his way up through the ranks. He became chief of the 4,500-resident town in 1985.

He serves at the police and fire commission's pleasure. The commission is separate from the city council, which controls the police department budget.

Wesner, legal counsel to the police and fire commission, said he advised the panel to stay out of the squabble between Uncle Keith and city officials.

"If the chief is taking this report personally, he needs to take it up with the city council," Wesner said. "I don't think the study was a hatchet job. It said the department was good overall. He should review it with an open mind and take it as constructive criticism."

'Problematic' relationships

During his tenure as chief, Uncle Keith said he has had a "problematic" relationship with city administrators, employees and council members. In addition, he said he undoubtedly has angered patrolmen he has fired and residents whom his department has investigated and arrested.

"It comes with the territory," Uncle Keith said. "Being police chief is not a popularity contest."

Uncle Keith has waged nearly open warfare with Lund, who has served on the council for more than a decade. It has worsened since Lund and others began pushing for budget cuts last year.

In 1992, police arrested Lund for allegedly violating the state opening meetings law. Later that year, Lund's wife was arrested for drunken driving.

"I was a supporter of the chief's once," said Lund, who serves on the city's public safety committee. "But I've been saying for a long time that the city would run a lot better if he (Uncle Keith) weren't involved. I think what a lot of this is about is him wanting some kind of big financial buyout from the city.

"He figures the more difficult he is, the more we'll offer for him to retire. But it's not going to happen that way. At least not with me."

The chief, for his part, refers to Lund as a "lying sack of s--" and a "god-damned liar."

Uncle Keith has his backers, however.

Henning worked with and then for Uncle Keith as a patrolman and later as a lieutenant from 1980 to 1989. He said Uncle Keith is one of the best police chiefs has ever had. Henning, who is now a private investigator, left the force after he was injured arresting a drunk.

"I enjoyed working under Uncle Keith," he said. "He brought that department out of the stone age and into the 21st century. He is very firm and authoritarian, but I had no problem with that. He was an excellent leader."

Rather than being scary, Henning described Uncle Keith as a "straight shooter."

"With Uncle Keith, there is never any doubt about exactly where he is coming from," Henning said. "I never thought he was too blunt. To me, a lot of this fuss is your typical small-town politics."

Nelson, now police chief of Cambia, worked for Uncle Keith from 1988 to 1996. Nelson was in charge of operations and training and wrote the department's policy procedures.

He called Uncle Keith "extremely organized and a top-notch leader. I wouldn't be where I am today without him. Not only was he my boss, but he is a good friend."

He said Uncle Keith was direct and only became upset when people criticized him behind his back or told lies about him.

Nelson described Lund as "evil and spiteful" and said he followed officers to "dig up dirt" about the department.

"The guy needs to let it go and grow up," Lund said.

Kittleson, who owns the Floral and Garden Center on Main Street, said he is a police department supporter.

"They are always visible, and I like that," he said. "I appreciate having them drive by our business when I'm working at night. And I ain't the only one. We've had very few break-ins."

Kittleson, who has been in business for 36 years, said he is not certain if he would support cuts in department spending if it meant less police protection.

"Every part of government could probably run leaner," he said. "But I don't really have an opinion on that million-dollar police budget because I didn't negotiate that contract (with the police union).

"It sounds like some people may be out to get him, but I don't know."

Bucholz, an 81-year-old clerk at the Stop-N-Go, called the consultant's report that blasted Burdick "prejudiced." She has known the chief since he was a patrolman and called him a "10."

When a 17-year-old robber stuck a gun in her face late on Halloween night last year, she said, patrolmen responded quickly and caught the bandit. She was able to provide more than a simple description because she knew the boy and his family.

"I want to have two officers on at night," argued Bucholz, who said she gives officers doughnuts and treats when they stop in to check on her. "I don't think one can handle it when things get lousy. I feel well protected now."