Thursday, May 05, 2005

The Decline of the American Empire

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the decline of the American empire. With the dollar losing value, all manufacturing jobs shipped overseas (and all goods imported from those countries), plus the Chinese buying up all of our debt and the rise of the Euro,.. we’re most likely headed towards becoming a service industry nation.

What’s that going to be like? It’s going to be AWESOME!

Think about it: In three or four generations everybody is going to be moving back to Europe… this little “democracy experiment” lasted an entire 300 years! People will discuss their land of origin… like New Yorkers will still talk up fucking New York like it’s the epicenter of all culture and intellectual thought (and the rest of us will still shutter in silent embarrassment during this three minute verbal stroke off).

Or, “my family came here from Mil-ay-wau-kay”. Or, “I’m from Delaware”.

With most of the educated white people gone back to Europe, the entire country will become exactly like Branson, Missouri or the Wisconsin Dells. There’ll be casinos and flashy lights and shiny brass and chrome everywhere!

Everywhere else will be a wasteland of white trash and gas stations resembling most of central Illinois…

The white trash that stay here will work for the casinos which will be owned by the native Americans. How cool is that? The Indians will get their entire nation back! And it only took like 800 years! America will be one large vacation destination – a total party nation! Fuck yes!

And the citizens will live in relative poverty while ruled by entitled political families. But that’s cool because the ruling families will keep the America Red White and Blue propaganda in full force, and nobody will remember that they’re poor because they don’t know any better and further, they don’t care! As long as WWF comes through town – like the when the circus came though town for their ancestors – and nobody fucked with the 2nd amendment, so they’re fully strapped – it’ll be all good.

And there won’t be any money any more because all of your bank records and credit card information plus identification will be embedded in your wrist, right next to the GPS tracking device. No more IDs!

America will be a nation of unemployed bankrupt uneducated white trash armed with high intensity plastic handguns and virtual reality three dimensional lap dances after a night out at the $3.99 Old Country Buffet all you can eat and six pack of tall boys all shining under the setting sun of freedom.

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Canada will remain exactly the same.

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