I was expecting more of a dangerous environment

not good at frequent updates. sorry. have had actual work (what the fuck is that)?

last friday I went to my friend Chris' send off. he's moving to L.A. with his wife at the end of the month. my sister is taking his Lincoln Park apartment when she moves in from D.C. August 1st. Chris is an actor who has gotten bit parts and a handful of commercials. so far he's always been casted as what casting directors have crafted as "Chicago Guy"... think of that fuck on the King of Queens, or George Wendt or John Goodman: tubby, able to break your neck, heart of gold... So, Chris and his wife take the show to L.A. in a couple weeks. They're midwesterners/they're going to hate it.

We had a large laminated card printed with a top ten list of why Chris should move. Carney got it made at Kinko's for only $80 (ass rape). Two of my submissions made the final cut:

"90210 school district superior to 60657 school district"

and

"chris' agent told him that there was a shortage of unemployed actors in L.A."

Those two were good, I think I had a couple others that were good. Carney played editor. He deserves it, he was ass raped by Kinko's. My inscription inside the card read: "It still freaks me out everytime I see you on TV. Please continue."

Afterwards I rode my bike with a couple of people to the Rainbow Club on Damen and then from there to Marie's Riptide Lounge and then to Exit. I was expecting more of a dangerous environment inside Exit, and it turned out to be a biker theme bar (like fucking Planet Hollywood). Regardless, some snarly punk girls with tattoo sleeves singled me out and bought me shots. I was home by 4 a.m.

Saturday I met Matt at Kelly's Pub for the Sheffield Garden Walk. His sister Mary bartends there and was serving us these potent concoctions of Absolut, raspberry vodka, Bacardi, 7-Up, Red Bull, and a dash of Rum. By estimation I drank 5 over the course of the evening. I don't recall, but they were free. Later in the evening Ellen and her crew showed. It's nice to be her friend, but I think that she still wants to date me. I got really positive vibes and a lot of attention and face time with Melanie the German. Melanie knows that I don't want to be with Ellen, and I think she respects that I'm not a dick about it. We all ended up at Vaughn's around midnight and I started to actually purchase Red Stripes. Ellen tried to tell me that she liked being friends but wanted more (while I kept stealing glances at Melanie/in the peripheral Melanie stealing glances of me), and I told her that we shouldn't be talking about it right then. She even fucking brought up Shannon... again, not the time to talk about it. I bought her a beer and then she went home. The rest of us closed shop, and I rode home.

Cutter was at my place by 9 a.m for our bike ride to the South Side Cultural Center. I felt like a $100 bill. I only made her wait 15 minutes while I pulled my personal shit together and joined her on the bike. A coffee, and I was back. The morning sun on the lake front was fantastic... a glimpse into heaven. We had a very nice ride to the south side, toured the grounds and met with Mysterios about 12:30. He was only an hour late... I'm sure that he was held up getting ready by nothing. That dude is a master killer of time. Anyway, it was good to see him and his newly shaved head... it reminded me of the Space Monkey brigade from "Project Mayhem" in Fight Club.

More riding. More sun. Sunburn. Maximus Sunburn Returns!