Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Monster's Ball

Monster's Ball could be re-named Worst Luck Ever.

They set out to write the most depressing movie of all time. They succeeded.

It's about Sling Blade working as a death row prison guard with his son - the Austrailian with the south Georgia accent - and the execution of Puff Daddy. Catwoman co-stars as Puff Daddy's ex-wife and mother to his fat son.

Eventually, they put Puff Daddy in the electric chair and Sling Blade freaks out on his son for puking half way through Puff Daddy's death march. Sling Blade's son is sick of constantly getting fucked with, so he attempts to win his father's love by immitating the "catch the bullet with your chest" trick that he saw on Jackass on the MTV. He failed. His grandfather - Peter Boyle - sat through the whole thing and accurately remarked that Sling Blade's son was "weak."

Some other shit goes down, like Puff Daddy's fat son getting run down by a car, but all of that pales in comparison to the all too brief sex scene between Sling Blade and Catwoman. It wasn't sexy, it was depressing.

Just like the rest of this movie, "depressing."

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