Monday, November 28, 2005


Want to read the greatest new catch phrase out there?

I just made it up, and soon everybodys going to be saying it because it's so fucking awesome.

Ready? Here it is:

"CUNT" is the new "FUCK"

Think about it for a few minutes, and let it sink in.

cunt is the new fuck
cunt is the new fuck
cunt is the new fuck
cunt is the new fuck
cunt is the new fuck

henry rollins "commentary" (not "insight")

I enjoy receiving comments on the comment section of the entries I write. It amazes me that anyone is reading. Further, it amazes me when someone leaves a comment.

One particular skinny little indie runt (you already know what he looks like: carefully chosen thrift wear clothing, meticulously crafted and parted strands of greasy ass messy hair, and arms too weak and homo to lift a gallon of milk) left this comment sometime in the last week. I had to repost it here as a full post, along with a response.

Anonymous said...

WOW! henry rollins, huh? he's really cool! you fit his demographic. i bet you're from some shitty, small town in iowa or wisconsin where nothing ever happens. dude! it's totally rad that you were turned onto black flag in the late '80s, but most people tend to agree that they REALLY started sucking when hank joined the band.

it's sad that you look to henry rollins for insight into bush, katrina, wal-mart, et al.

i'm sure it was enlightening to hear an ENTERTAINER --- who (how many?) people paid $26 each to see --- expound on the working poor.

do you feel more informed now?

why didn't you take that $26 (plus the $10 you were dupped out of for his book) and donate it to one of the causes that hank enlightens people about? are you saving up to go see celine dion next time SHE's in town?

put down "Fanatic" and pick up something by h.l. mencken. you silly twat!

[tim] said...

indie cunt,

i haven't lived in a shitty small town in iowa or illinois since 1992 -- the year that my parents stopped paying for me and I decided to get a real education on my own dime...

a bit of a contrast to your father's name on your credit card and the university of chicago education pre-paid for... don't be too fucking surprised, I understand that the university of chicago only admits trust fund bitch boys. your collective cum stain "intelligencia" can be found with daily updates at

and by the way, it's not "insight", it's "commentary"... you MIGHT know the difference once you've finished your third year of college. And nobody mistakes henry for anything more than an "entertainer"

do you feel more informed now?

bring it, bitch.

I love this shit.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

dead pool

who's gonna die first?

my dead pool 11/17/05

1. Jerry Lewis (quickly sinking into delusion)

2. Vin Diesel (I want him to go first)

3. Kirk Douglas (already looks like a corpse)

4. Courtney Love (tick... tick... tick...)

5. Kate Moss (that frail body and that little heart can't possibly take that much blow for that much longer)

6. Muhammad Ali (or Will Smith)

7. Dick Cheney (no tears shed at this funeral)

8. Woody Allen (he fucks and marries his step daughter... the only reason he wasn't slammed in a career ending smear campaign is because the Jews run the media... think about it.)

9. Clint Eastwood (I'll miss Clint)

10. Jenna Elfman (non-talent scientologist. not hot at all... cold, like corpse)

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

the mars volta :: scabdates

the mars volta :: scabdates

think tank

My boss Steve and I just sat down at a meeting that went an hour and we shouldve been the fuck outta there after 20. We ran to the elevator and Steve said "do you see what I mean? Do you see what I have to do everyday? I'm a babysitter... a hand holder... a cat wrangler..."

We sat in this fucking meeting and talked for 45 minutes about these fucking charts that these fuck heads were so fucking crazy about... even after being told at least 8 times that all of this would be addressed in design.

Stupid fuckers kept dropping the word "think tank"... I've figured out what a "think tank" is... constant chatter and zero results...

Here's a thought for all you think tank fuck nuts: GET A REAL FUCKING JOB.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

ebay punk ass jerk off bitch

fuck assholes on fucking ebay!!!

This dipshit bought this horrible LP that I never thought that I would be able to sell by this talentless hack hip hop white girl act called "northern state".

IMMEDIATELY after ordering this ebay fuck nut began emailing me asking IS IT HERE YET IS IT HERE YET IS IT HERE YET IS IT HERE YET.

The LP went out about a week after the bidding ended because I had to order some LP boxes from

So, on top of holding this pussy's hand throughout the duration of mail transport, I receive a "neutral" rating on ebay feedback... I emailed this person to tell them that I would give a full refund in exchange for a change from "neutral" to "postive" in the feedback section... their response is below.

in a momentary fit of FUCK THIS I responded to below's email:

"whoa... who cares? - Tim"

I guess that you can't find "northern state" LPs in marion, iowa. and seeing as there's fuck all jack shit to do there otherwise, it's a serious matter when you have to wait a few extra days for your absolutely horrible LP to arrive.

PS: 1 cent profit isn't really a profit,.. now is it?


The communication:

Sat, 5 Nov 2005 16:59:21 EST


Just wanted to let you know that the record arrived as of today. Had you not told me that it was sent on Monday 10/24, but actually on 11/2, I may not have been as worried about it being lost in the mail. Any reason you decided to lie as oppossed to just saying you hadn't gotten it sent out yet?

Sent: Mon, 07 Nov 2005 09:47:24 -0600

change your feedback from a "neutral" to a "positive" and i'll refund your
money via paypal.

regardless, you received a deal on that record.


Date: Mon, 07 Nov 2005 12:17:12 -0500

Thank you for the offer, but we had a transaction and I'm certainly not looking to get anything "free". I paid for the item and got the item. I'm not looking for anything else. My feedback is honest. I got the item as described but you weren't up front about the shipping timeframe. It also stands to note that I have yet to get feedback from you, when really my obligation was fufilled once I submitted payment for the item.

As for the "deal" aspect.....there was still a sticker on the LP from Tower Records with a price of $6.99. So assuming that you bought it for full price, you're the one that's actually coming out ahead with the $7.00 ending price.

At this point I'm just happy to have the item and be done with the transaction. Leave me feedback or don't, but I guess I don't see me being at any fault in this dealing. I paid the day the auction ended and you lied about when you shipped it. A bit of honesty probably would've kept any of this from even being an issue.


What the fuck? 1 cent profit isn't really a profit,.. now is it?

Monday, November 07, 2005

Henry Rollins - The Vic - Chicago - 2 November 05

First off: I've liked Rollins since I was turned onto Black Flag in the late 80's. I like the Rollins Band. I don't like seeing Rollins in a GAP ad, or in a shitty movie dressed up like a cop, or sucking up to MTV. The guy obviously enjoys getting paid, and wedsnesday nights performance was $26 a head.

SO, what's Rollins like without the volume... just a man and a mic?

Rollins was outstanding.

I must admit that at $26 I was wondering if it was going to be worth it, considering that it's only open mike, no music. I'd caught a video of his spoken word back in 1994 and it was borderline stand up comedy... as well as his periodic rants on corporate sponsored television. Was it worth it? FUCK YES.

Rollins hit the stage at 7 p.m. sharp and spoke straight through until 10 p.m. sharp... no breaks, no pauses, no hits off a bottle of water, no slowing down... motherfucker brought the same level of intensity to minute 179 that he had at minute 11. What did he discuss? Off the top of my head it was some insight into: Bush... Katrina... Wal-Mart... the working poor... the democrats... Trent Lott... Tulsa Oklahoma.... New York City... Ted Nugget... Johnny Ramone and watching "The End of the Century" with him a few weeks before he died of colon cancer... visiting troops in South Korea, Afghanistan, I raq, and the wounded in VA hospitals... squirells... hunters... automatic weapons... Ian MacKaye... his work ethic... turning 40... gay Bob Mould... improve yourself infomercials... what's hot... edible underware... his B-actor cameos.... good citizenship.

Rollins was excellent. I highly, highly recommend seeing him the next time you're in the same town he's playing. Twenty six bucks is worth every dime, he brings it to the performance.

I picked up a signed copy of his new book "Fanatic" at merchandising for $10. It's a collection of each of his setlists from his weekly 2004 monday night show on Indie 103 in L.A... it's full of info, personal memories, and basic music geek notes plus web sites to each of the tracks he chose to play on each show. Good, fun, quick read.